Monogamy & Chivalry... have died

I'm getting myself so wound up recently, observing people and their relationships or their life choices, it's actually knocking me a bit sick if i'm completely honest. I can honestly say I don't know a single couple at the moment that are 100% monogamous, and it's such a sad thought. People just have this constant need for other peoples attention, so they flirt with others and kiss/touch/sleep with other people behind their partners back, and it's horrifying. It's genuinely really put me off going near anyone at all. Yes, I understand not everyone's like that and it's not fair to say it's just guys or girls, but obviously I experience it with guys because i'm sexually attracted to guys, so I'm not going to get fed up with girls for it, am i? Anyway, back to my point, I don't even want to bother with anyone because it's all on the same pattern. Every guy is an opportunist and i'm 90% sure that whatever they say to me, they've said or are saying to three other girls. I'm increasingly beginning to believe i'm just strange in the sense that it takes a lot for me to like someone, and when I do I only wish to spend time with/kiss/talk to them in that way, no one else. Everyone else seems to be going through people like they're going out of fashion, and I'm stumped on what to make of it at all. I watched a girl in a club go from one guy to another for about an hour the other week, and she was eating the face of all of them in plain view. Now, either they all laughed it off and gave her a reputation or she successfully caused tension between people, because she can't keep her tongue in her own mouth. Sorry, that was a mini rant.

It really pisses me off when girls use specific guys to flirt with to make themselves look like they get attention, it honestly pisses me off. All the bitchy little tactics that seem to be in a 'how to make his life hell' catalogue somewhere, accessible for all female kind, come well out of the woodwork and show themselves. I hate all of them, wanting and flirting with your ex because he has a new love interest, being all over a guy friend just because someone you had a fling is in view, flirting HORRENDOUSLY with someone because you don't like the person they're interested in, etc. They are all pathetic and ridiculous and just plain horrible. Why is it intrinsic for people to be dickheads? Everyone does it, I don't do it in that sense though. I'm one of those who pretends they don't care, and just gets over it on my own. I'm not a fan of obstructing true love (ha!) or anything like that, end of the day opportunity does not knock twice, you tried it, it didn't work out, move on. Don't then spend your time pretending you want to be in the other room of a club, just to attempt to make someone who, quite frankly probably doesn't give a fuck and just thinks you're stupid, jealous for all of five minutes.

And don't get me started on guys...

You meet a guy, he seems ace, he's charming, attractive and single.. score. No, not at all, not in this day and age! Chances are he has a reputation, sleeps with A LOT of people or is seeing someone and keeping it quiet so they can pursue more sexual encounters. I've seen it all too much before and it's insulting. I hate it when guys who have girlfriends and claim to love them start flirting with me, its disrespectful. It's even more hilarious when they get touchy because you remind them they have a girlfriend and you don't flirt back, that's a classic move. It's not a compliment if a guy with a girlfriend flirts with you, in fact i'd take it more as an insult because they're viewing you as something to do behind their girlfriends back. You're never going to mean anything to them, you're never going to become their girlfriend and on the off chance you do, he'll be doing it behind your back instead. If you want to sleep with many people or have the freedom to then why not just be 100% single? I don't get it. Is it fun to hurt people and cheat and lie? If so, i'm massively missing out. Now i'm not saying all guys are like this, but it seems the ones i'm attracted to are very similar to this. Suddenly interested again because they have a girlfriend and don't want to lose you as a flirt or whatever. I also don't like it when people tell me to give a guy a chance, i'm sorry no, i'm not attracted to him, simple. I wouldn't expect someone to pursue me if they didn't find me attractive, so kindly don't force that on me thanks. Maybe, i just have shit taste, but it's my taste all the same and I'm not going to pretend to like some guy just because he's a 'nice guy'. I don't care for it, confidence is sexy, so is a bit of charm and a bit of tact, and yes this may all point to a player or whatever, but shit happens. I may not be happy about it, but I enjoy certain attributes. I wouldn't say i'm ridiculously picky, I'm just not into everyone.

Also, when THE FUCK did it become appropriate to ask a girl who you barely know how they have their pubic hair?! Or to say things such as 'I bet you're really good in bed'. Excuse me, NO. Why don't you try showing me some respect? Flirting is one thing, but that's just crude, and it says to me you don't think much of me as a person. Basically, do not objectify me. I am not a piece of meat for you to utilise to your best ability, I am a PERSON. I have favourite colours, favourite films, a sense of humour and preferences of my own, therefore do NOT say such things like 'i'd love to see you naked' or 'i'm really good with my tongue'. I do not care. All you say to me is you're just a sex obsessed male. And the funny thing is, some of these 'nice guys' have said such crude things to me... bit of a contrast, anyone?

Maybe I am strange, maybe my taste is bad or weird, but you can't really call me for wanting a bit of respect and someone to treat me like a person who actually matters, can you? Sex is great, we all love it, it's a brilliant pass time but I won't just jump into bed with any old casanova who thinks he can pull the moves on any girl he chooses, as sex is also about being close to one another and being honest and experimental, exploring your body with someone elses, and no i'm not saying it's 'making love' at all. Wild sex, rough sex, passionate sex, intimate sex... they're all good but I don't believe you can get the full benefit if you go from one partner to the next throwing yourself at them (thats you ladies) or trying DESPERATELY to get into their knickers (and yes guys, i mean desperate).

So, Anyone up for a fuck?

¬.¬

Bad person or bad actions?

Can someone really be a good person? Or a bad person? Or are there just choices you make, actions you perform, which determine what you are?

And if so, can you change by simply changing the choices you make, or is it programmed into you to make bad choices or good ones?

People say people change, others say they don't. I'm torn. On the surface, I'd say people won't change unless something drastic happens, like moving to a completely new way of life, or losing something important, or cheating death, you know, newsworthy stuff. But having said that, I've noticed a few changes in some people recently, and it has surprised me BUT... i'm not convinced they're permanent changes. I just don't think there's anything that can intercept the biological programming in your brain that defines which path you take.

Some people are destined to make the right choices, succeed and then be as happy as larry. Others, not so much.

Have you ever got that feeling when you know you're setting yourself up for something bad to happen, yet you go ahead with it anyway? And then you still end up surprised when it all falls down, and you end up as hurt as you would be if you didn't expect it. I guess that's the thing people refer to as 'hope'. The hope that it won't all crumble down, and the hope that for once things might just work out and give you that bit of happiness, even just for a short while.

I'm one of those people who expects things to crash and burn, nothing lasts forever, happiness is a state of mind affected by factors which are always in a state of flux, therefore you can never be properly happy for a long time as there's too much change going on for it to remain consistent. There's no such thing as an inconsistent consistency, it just doesn't work. I'm not say happiness doesn't exist, i'm not a pessimist, I just think you can't be permanently happy, as things enforce themselves on you to test your emotions daily, so you can't always walk around with a big genuine grin, as it's impossible to be that way. People who are always happy worry me, as it's not possible to be happy all the time, they seem like they're setting themselves up for a breakdown as they don't allow any negative emotions to flow.

So back to the point, can you truly be a bad person? Even bad people can do good things, so does that make them better, even good? Is it such a simplistic belief to think that there are only negative and positive actions, and a person is like a set of scales. The more bad actions, the more it tilts left, the more good, the more it tilts right. If someone grew up being good and then decided to make a hell of a lot of bad decisions, why are they seen as misguided and off the rails rather than downright bad? Whereas someone in the opposite position is seen as suspicious and dishonest for their sudden change, although both have the potential to do the same things?

Have you ever really thought about the choices and actions you have performed and thought wow, i'm not that nice of a person? Like really sat there and scrutinised your life from point A, and realised that maybe you're not so nice? Maybe you're not so honest? Maybe you're not as loyal as you thought? It's almost scary to think of it like that. I strongly believe there is no one in the world who hasn't made a bad choice, or been selfish and hurt someone for their own good, some more than others granted, but still... no one can be completely tilted to the good side.

Perhaps being selfish isn't that bad, after all you'll always be there for you, whereas you cannot guarantee anyone else will. Sad thought? Yes. Pessimistic? No, i prefer the term realistic. A very intelligent friend of mine said to me, I prefer the phrase

'Expect the worst, but hope for the best'.

He said it's not blind optimism but it's not miserable pessimism either, and it makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

So i'll leave that as the closing statement, and continue to ponder about the good, the bad, and the downright scary...

Girls and Clothes...

Right, so this is mainly aimed at myself more than anyone else, but I have seen it amongst lots of my female friends.

So, for starters, how come your clothes manage to get ALL over your room? Like, honestly how the hell do they manage to be thrown everywhere, as if a small explosion went off in Primark or something similar. It takes FOREVER to pick up my clothes off the floor, and when you think you've got them all there's some ridiculous excuse of a sock or tiny top hiding away and you're like ¬.¬ come on!

I'm currently in the process of tidying up and I had to stop because I swear to god my clothes have multiplied on their own, it's creepy 0.o

I've put pretty much all of my clothes away as I can remember, and still there's more? It's ridiculous.

I wonder if guys have this problem... I've never seen it, mind you they may tidy up before I come over so you never know.

Anyway, secondly, with all these endless clothes why the hell can I never find something I really want to wear? Everything doesn't look right and I complain and end up wearing something for the sake of it, and then wonder why it takes so long to decide considering I have a ridiculous wardrobe to choose from :/

I just annoy myself really. Underwears absolutely fine, always matching or presentable but what the hell does that matter? no ones going to see it!

Ahh, I'll do anything but tidy up, and even worse after this I have to do my washing...

*moan moan moan*

Tips on How To Get 'That' Girl! Obsessive guys guide

Psychotic? Needy? Insecure?

Then this blog could be for YOU!

So you know that girl you really like? You know the one, hangs out with you, tells you where she's going out, confides all her boy troubles in you? This blog is to help you make her yours!

Because after all, She's clearly interested, right?

So, she hangs out with you, but never makes a move. Well what are you waiting for?! She wants you to pounce on her like a lion on a zebra! She's just playing hard to get by emphasising you're just friends. I mean come on, who wouldn't be interested in a guy who's going to watch your every move? Go for it! You jump on her! She never has to worry about getting into trouble because you'll be there for her! Whether she knows it or not, You know her number off by heart anyway, even if she doesn't know you have it she'll thank you for the unexpected text confessing your undying love for her!

What girl doesn't want a guy to fall head over heels for her and remind her of it every half an hour? You're not the reason you haven't got a girlfriend, they are. After all, the last few called it off because you were 'too nice' so surely it's not you who's at fault, they just weren't ready for an awesome relationship.

Secondly, she tells you where's she's going on nights out.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? YOU GO THERE TOO, RIGHT NOW!

She's only telling you so you'll turn up unannounced, she'll think it's sweet and romantic. She's only kidding when she tells you it's stalker-type behaviour, you know the playground rules, insult the one you fancy and all that. Get in there. There's nothing that says 'I care for you deeply' more than crashing her nights out. If she looks horrified she's just thinking about how stupid she is to not be with you yet ;)

Remember though, you don't have to talk to anyone else, just her. Follow her around and text her even though you're standing right next to her, she'll think it's sweet and thoughtful, forget all these other guys who say play it cool, they obviously don't know what they're talking about, even if they have had a girlfriend for 2 years...

Thirdly, the boy troubles. You're always there to lend an ear when Tom lets her down, or Ben leaves her for her best friend, but it's not a caring friend she wants, she's telling you these things as subtle hints! She wants YOU, not the guy she tells you she's interested in! She's dropping hints on what kind of guy she wants to be with so you can take note and be perfect for her.

After all you already know her favourite movie, song, band, place to hang out, clothes store, underwear store, coffee shop, food, sweets, shoes, animal, colour....

How could you go wrong?

If she tells you to leave her alone or to go away, DON'T LISTEN TO IT!

Stay and fight your corner, the ladies LOVE a guy with passion and fire to him, so if you scream that you won't leave things like this and that you love her, she'll be like putty in your hands. A girl loves a guy with mood swings, after all you can't get more spontaneous than a random show of anger every now and again, right? Oh, and remember to confide you're undying love and steely strong feelings in everyone who's close to her, so she knows you care enough to get on with her friends. Girls love it when their friend knows everything you've ever said to each other, it gives them more opportunity for her to talk about how much she really wants you, Because let's face it, what else would she have to talk about? She may not have told you yet, but again she's playing hard to get.

So guys, if this is a situation you're in, then these are just a few handy tips on how to get the girl you're obsessing over.

Remember, stalking's only illegal if you get caught ;)

Daring or Stupid..?

Can people change? If someone suddenly changes their ways have they become a better person or are they simply hiding it better? I understand everyone makes mistakes, it's natural and we are only human, temptation is a strong thing and it's a very easy thing to be lured by. ESPECIALLY when it comes to people you have feelings for. Whenever I seem to have strong feelings for someone, they never really go away. There's two I can think of, and my heart still pines for them. I still think about them a lot, although I shouldn't, and I hate it. That being said, I didn't love them but I think there was a chance to, until it all came crashing down.

So do people change? If someone fucks you over, plays you and treats you as a peice of meat and then claims to be different now, is it cruel to discard that possibility or stupid to believe it? I personally think it's stupid to believe them. They say once a cheat, always a cheat and player for life and all these so called phrases, and there's no smoke without fire.

Is it worth giving someone a chance if they've hurt you not once, but twice before? I feel like if I do i'm going to look like an idiot once again and kick myself when it all comes crashing down again and the worst part is I know that inside my mind will say 'I told you so'. And I am my worst enemy, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I don't think people do change, not as drastically as they claim anyway. I believe change is gradual, and if someone messes you about 3 months previous, they're pretty much definately going to do it again.

Perhaps it's true what people tell me, perhaps I am a massive pessimist, but at the same time I'd rather think the worst and be proven wrong than expect the best and be let down. I've done that too many times, so If I keep myself away from someone I have feelings for, it's better in the long run as I don't want to be tied down and I am terrified of the thought that someone could have the potential to break my heart. I can't deal with the fact that someday, someone may have the biggest hold on me and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm not scared of being happy, i'm just scared of losing control over what can happen to my feelings. I'd rather bottle them away and leave them to die, or at least fade to nearly nothing, than to open up to someone. As I think they're only going to hurt me in the end, or even worse I'll freak out and hurt them. Self sabotage is a thing I seem to do on a mild scale, it's not a nice thing. I'm suspicious of people's motives, I wonder why they choose me out of thousands of others. I want to know why they like me, why they want to meet me and all other things. I suppose it could be called paranoia, and it's not pretty but I just hate the thought that I could one day let the wrong person in, again, and end up stood there with nothing, not even my own heart.

I don't think someone will change their ways, not until they meet the right person and then it's a natural change. Some people will never change, and it's a sad tale to think like that but it's also very true. I include myself in this category, I can't see myself opening the door, especially not any time soon. I get told i've just not met the right person, but maybe I don't want to. How do I know who's right? I can't base it on my feelings, obviously, as they've been wrong before. There's no explosion of hearts and smiles like in an anime, much as I wish there could be. All in all, I don't think change comes quickly, and I certainly don't think taking a risk on someone who's hurt you is the right thing to do, definately not for me anyway. They're only going to mess me around and hurt me again, even if they don't know they're doing so.

It terrifies me, and I'm not afraid to admit that. Which is almost ironic.

Keyboard warriors & Anonymous Jokers :')

So, i've got a formspring, as a lot of us have. And I was just finding it funny reading comments that people get, which are nasty. It's like oh shit, i've got a chance to have some IMAGINARY balls, I'm gonna call this girl ugly. I'm going to say this guys an idiot and a stuck up prick, and I'm just generally going to cause trouble because i'm a proper little keyboard warrior.

It amuses me, I feel bad for the people who got it, because it's nasty as you will NEVER know who it is and no ones going to admit it, if they're going to anonymous in the first place then they're not going to be like 'it was meeeeeeeeeee lol kthnx'.

I got threatened on formspring, apparently i'm a filthy dog and ugly and all this and need to stay away from someones boyfriend... now, may I add I have no love interest in anyone at the moment and If I ever did have an interest in someone who was with someone, I would never say anything or act on it, at all. It's disrespectful and cruel, I've been in the position where i've been cheated on before and it's not a nice feeling. But anyway, so this random girl has said she's remaning anonymous because 'when i break your nose it'll be a nice shock'. Oh, okay. Right, but I'm guessing from your previous shows of bravery you'll arrive in a ninja suit, right? Or maybe even get your friend, or even better... your sister to do it. Yup, you're really scaring me, I'm shaking my socks off, no really.

So anyway, after I had a good long chuckle about the 'question' I deleted it, as if this person is passionate enough to defend her boyfriend, who I've not got a clue about who he is, then surely she can do it in person? You know, at least send a facebook message off HIS account, or even your own. Mind you, then you wouldn't be a keyboard warrior right? ha.
So there's a few reasons she's remained anonymous, of course aside from the shock of me getting my nose broken (may i add, BRING IT?)

So, one reason could be she's got a track record of being a jealous, over the top cow and her boyfriends sick of her outbursts, so she's going to sneakily jeopardise any friendship he may have with a girl or anyone he's met that may piss her off or be a threat. OR.. she's incapable of acting on her threats and knows full well she can't act on her words, a classic case of all bark, no bite. I personally have no bark, and a pretty nasty bite, which I never really need to use. Best way, I think. Anyway, so yeah, she could just be a cowardly little wench who's scared of the consequences of her own words, which I think is the most likely reason. OR.. the guy in question may not even be her boyfriend, now THAT would amuse me beyond any other explanation!

More to the point though, if i'm such a filthy dog slut bitch who's ugly... then... why are you threatened? Even if I was trying to smuggle your boyfriend off you, if what you say is true, tried and tested, then why waste your time? Why not just laugh at me behind my back with your boyfriend? Oh yeah, right. Because you ARE threatened, and you are ridiculously insecure. I get it now. You must be a catch, really.

You clearly trust your boyfriend beyond necessary and you're clearly secure about yourself and your relationship, that's why your spending time making empty threats which are backed by no evidence than your own paranoid mind reading too far into things. I'm sure how are you could be misinterpreted as something sinister in your warped mind.

The best part? I didn't reply, and deleted it, as someone with no spine does not deserve my time (hey, i rhymed!) and she then sent another question... ready?

'not gona reply shit bag?'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
That was for your really good use of grammar and utilisation of the english language, kudos for you! And then this 'BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA' is for the fact that you are calling me a shit bag, a bag of shit, for not replying to you... not replying to your ANONYMOUS threat. So as I didn't reply to your anonymous cocky self, i'm the shit bag. Alright. That figures! :]

I'm not discouraging you from sending me these things by the way, they brighten my day, well, what spare time I have left after i've been being a filthy slut and an ugly dog all at once of course, as well as hiding away being a shit bag.

Woof, anyone? ;)

Fickle... or got issues?

I've always been suspicious about certain types of people, one type is the type where they tell you everything there is to know about them within the first conversation including any health issues, relationship issues, who they hate, love, who's a prick, what boyfriend did what, what girlfriend did what, etc. I just don't think it's right. Perhaps that's just because I'm very sheltered in what I tell people and what I say around others, very wary. Not paranoid, but I only fully trust myself and to me there's no such thing as a shared secret. I will never tell anyone anything without expecting someone else to find out, and this is probably another reason why I don't get too much hassle and in a million confrontations a week. I also don't blow up over tiny things and force my opinions down others throats, usually I keep it to myself if anything :/ I just don't think people who literally verbally throw up their entire life are right, why do I need to know so much about you? Why are you overwhelming me with the gorey, irrelevant and frankly weird details of your life? You have only just met me.

I understand some people feel they can trust me and that's fine, I never repeat what I'm told unless prompted to by that person and I pretend to forget secrets as it's not my place to share them with anyone, again unless prompted to by that person. Anyway, I know I'm trustworthy, that is one thing I can say out loud and fully believe, but usually trust comes with knowing someone for a while and talking to them, not from being introduced to someone on a night out and spewing everything on to them. And how unfair? I don't know what can and can't be repeated, i don't have a clue why you're sharing this information and to be honest I just want to go to the bar and avoid you thanks.


A massive annoyance of mine is people who flit from relationship to relationship, and love who their with in less than a month. I mean come on, really? You don't know them, they don't know you, you've just got together and yes everythings sweet and dandy now, but god knows what's going to happen. Either you don't understand love, as I believe it has to develop, or you just fall for people once every other month... which I find ridiculous. A friend of mine was sharing his heartbreak over the girl he loved and cared for, and he really seemed in a badway. I felt bad for him.. then all of a sudden he's with another girl, and in love with her, in less than two months? They've not even been together a month, I mean come on, really?

Another guy I know was telling me how we'd be great together and we should meet up, he's messed me about before and got back with his ex-girlfriend, so I should of known he was a liar, but I actually believed he was sorry and said perhaps we can try being mates and whatever, he still pursued and I was like right well maybe a drink won't hurt, and now he's with a girl who's apparently 'changed' him and made him stop and think wow she's the one, in less than a week. So yeah, I'd love to know what indepth crazy issues that they have, and all people who move on so quickly. Is it a constant string of rebounds? Yes, I know it's not nice when you've broken up with someone and it's lonely and strange, but that doesn't mean that getting on someone else will help, it's like a fire you're just adding to it. I don't like it when I see people doing this day in and day out, it's not normal really.

I'm not saying we should all be swans and mate for life, then never ever get with anyone else, i've been tempted by rebounds but I stop for a second and think no, it's not right dragging someone into the mess my heads in right now, as even if they are willing to be in that strange place, it's not right and i'll feel bad, and they'll feel awful if they develop feelings. Facebook is the prime place for seeing this happening, a couple get together and yeah, it's all well and good thinking they're amazing, but saying you love them in a status update every ten minutes for a week isn't really the way to go. It's actually painful watching peoples relationship statuses, the ones who do this anyway, as you can literally start to predict who they'll get with, when, how quickly they'll 'love' them and then when they'll breakup. It's amusing in a way, but painful more than anything.

I think my relationship status has changed 3 times on facebook, if that? And they were boyfriends who I got with, never put stupid lovey dovey statuses about them and then if we broke up, we broke up. I didn't IMMEDIATELY find a replacement body for them as you've gotta be lacking something to be able to do that so smoothly, without anytime for yourself. After a breakup I call it a 'mourning period'. Even if you didn't like them that much, weren't together long or you instigated the breakup, it still feels shit and I think there's a period time you need to leave it before you even think of getting with someone else, especially if things are in limbo with your previous partner as they sometimes are. I think the absolute minimum is 3 weeks, and even thats pushing it in my opinion. I think it's out of respect and loyalty for me, even when I got cheated on I took a long time for myself without being involved with anyone, as I think people need that time. Helps you clear your head to what you actually want, or what you don't want.

Maybe these people are just fickle, and i'm not going to lie I sometimes feel a bit jealous that they can move so quickly without any bad feeling, but everyone hides things, so I'd hate to see the minefield they've caused in their head. I'd love to not be as deep as I am and be able to get with people willy nilly, but I seem to be too picky and yes, I have slight issues with commitment, but who doesn't? I think throwing your entire being at someone is ridiculous, I think people should have their own lives away from each other and I think that there should be some mystery and excitement regardless of how long you've been together. It's just a shame that some people can't deal with having seperate lies due to jealousy or the need to feel wanted all the time. I don't expect too much from a relationship but I've decided recently I don't need to settle, if somethings not working then leave it as that. I'm not 50 and it's not a marriage, I don't have kids and a mortgage to consider, so if I want to be single and take things as they come, I can do. I have no ties right now, and any ties I make I would like to enjoy, so therefore I will not get with every tom, theresa and harry just because it's accessible.
I'm not waiting for my one true love, but I sure as hell am not going to settle for a flitter. Everyone likes a cuddle, but when it's done all the time it becomes smothering..