Sexuality. Isn't it fun? Well, if you can decide on one, yes. I don't understand it half the time. To me, people are people and if you are attracted to someone and they feel the same, I don't think anything should matter, especially not something like gender. Yes, it seems a bit strange to say, but why does it matter? As long as it's not directly affecting them, then why is it another persons business?
To me asking someone their sexuality is pretty stupid. I've asked people myself for my own curiousity to save embarrassing myself, as I have in turn hit on a gay man, and a straight girl and felt a bit silly. They laughed it off, so did I, while nursing a bit of a bruise to my pride, but still, I wasn't asking because it's a need-to-know thing. I was asking because I was interested, or my friend was. Whatever, digression, my first and best talent. Back to the point, I don't get why other people's sexuality should matter as much as it seems to. Granted, majority of people don't care whether your gay, straight, bisexual or like to fondle rabbits, as long as it's not their little sisters bunny Thumper. But to the ones it does matter to, why?
If I choose to sleep with girls or boys, why do you care? I don't care what, or should I say who you do, so why are you going to be up in my face about it? I'm not sleeping with you, or your mother, so back off. Anyway, defensiveness aside, I don't know what I am. If labelling is so important, then you'd have to cast me aside.
I would famously quote Morrisey and just say 'I am Sexual'. Because I am, Sexual attraction happens at the strangest of moments, sometimes it builds up and that can be fun, but it can also hit you like a punch in the face and you're like wow... i'm attracted to you. A lot. So yeah, it's a bit of a difficult one. I never really had any real experiences with girls until one night a girl followed me to bed, and not in a bad way. We talked, chilled out, she kissed me... uh oh. I was like wow... this feels right but.. you're female? Up until this point i'd never really done anything 'gay'. So it was a bit of a shock to my system, but certainly not a bad one and I can honestly say she's one of the people in my life I've cared about the most. She's always going to be special to me, more special than my first time with a boy. Which may seem mean, but it's true.
Anyway, So yes, I've had experiences with girls since then, I've also had experiences with guys. Bisexual, I guess. But I don't like that word, it has bad connotations to it. Such as being greedy, and having your cake and eating it too (a saying i've never understood, why have cake if you're not going to eat it? Dumbass) and 'bisexual' just generally gets bad press. I'd like to ask the people who say this though, have you ever had an experience which has made you question your sexuality? Have you ever considered the idea that perhaps people are attracted to people, and not gender? I know there are genuinely straight and gay people out there, but there are also the inbetween ones, and I don't think you should get slated just for your sexuality because again, what has it got to do with ANYONE other than yourself? Nothing. Nada.
I have a friend who was straight, had heterosexual relationships, she's a girl, she met another girl, they fell in love. Still together to this day. Realistically, I don't think you can comment on how someone else is without being in their situation or at least trying to empathise to a degree. I am open minded in how I think and how I treat people, i'm also rather accomadating, which isn't always a good thing for me, but you know. I don't give a flying dutchman whether you're dating a girl, sleeping with a boy, or dabbling in both pools of gender, as long as you're happy, not harming anyone and the person you're seeing is happy too. Love is a weird thing, It happens unexpectedly and it's not reserved for heterosexuality. In my experience I've found gay couples, mainly lesbian couples, have a stronger bond and last longer than the heterosexual swing-dating routine they seem to be in, but saying that I don't mean it's not or cannot be the other way round either.
But yes, Bisexual. It just means partial to ladies and gentlemen. It doesn't mean greedy, Slut or anything bad. Just like gay doesn't mean puff or dyke, and Straight doesn't mean breeder. Just stop thinking about sex and sexuality and start thinking about person and personality.
To me asking someone their sexuality is pretty stupid. I've asked people myself for my own curiousity to save embarrassing myself, as I have in turn hit on a gay man, and a straight girl and felt a bit silly. They laughed it off, so did I, while nursing a bit of a bruise to my pride, but still, I wasn't asking because it's a need-to-know thing. I was asking because I was interested, or my friend was. Whatever, digression, my first and best talent. Back to the point, I don't get why other people's sexuality should matter as much as it seems to. Granted, majority of people don't care whether your gay, straight, bisexual or like to fondle rabbits, as long as it's not their little sisters bunny Thumper. But to the ones it does matter to, why?
If I choose to sleep with girls or boys, why do you care? I don't care what, or should I say who you do, so why are you going to be up in my face about it? I'm not sleeping with you, or your mother, so back off. Anyway, defensiveness aside, I don't know what I am. If labelling is so important, then you'd have to cast me aside.
I would famously quote Morrisey and just say 'I am Sexual'. Because I am, Sexual attraction happens at the strangest of moments, sometimes it builds up and that can be fun, but it can also hit you like a punch in the face and you're like wow... i'm attracted to you. A lot. So yeah, it's a bit of a difficult one. I never really had any real experiences with girls until one night a girl followed me to bed, and not in a bad way. We talked, chilled out, she kissed me... uh oh. I was like wow... this feels right but.. you're female? Up until this point i'd never really done anything 'gay'. So it was a bit of a shock to my system, but certainly not a bad one and I can honestly say she's one of the people in my life I've cared about the most. She's always going to be special to me, more special than my first time with a boy. Which may seem mean, but it's true.
Anyway, So yes, I've had experiences with girls since then, I've also had experiences with guys. Bisexual, I guess. But I don't like that word, it has bad connotations to it. Such as being greedy, and having your cake and eating it too (a saying i've never understood, why have cake if you're not going to eat it? Dumbass) and 'bisexual' just generally gets bad press. I'd like to ask the people who say this though, have you ever had an experience which has made you question your sexuality? Have you ever considered the idea that perhaps people are attracted to people, and not gender? I know there are genuinely straight and gay people out there, but there are also the inbetween ones, and I don't think you should get slated just for your sexuality because again, what has it got to do with ANYONE other than yourself? Nothing. Nada.
I have a friend who was straight, had heterosexual relationships, she's a girl, she met another girl, they fell in love. Still together to this day. Realistically, I don't think you can comment on how someone else is without being in their situation or at least trying to empathise to a degree. I am open minded in how I think and how I treat people, i'm also rather accomadating, which isn't always a good thing for me, but you know. I don't give a flying dutchman whether you're dating a girl, sleeping with a boy, or dabbling in both pools of gender, as long as you're happy, not harming anyone and the person you're seeing is happy too. Love is a weird thing, It happens unexpectedly and it's not reserved for heterosexuality. In my experience I've found gay couples, mainly lesbian couples, have a stronger bond and last longer than the heterosexual swing-dating routine they seem to be in, but saying that I don't mean it's not or cannot be the other way round either.
But yes, Bisexual. It just means partial to ladies and gentlemen. It doesn't mean greedy, Slut or anything bad. Just like gay doesn't mean puff or dyke, and Straight doesn't mean breeder. Just stop thinking about sex and sexuality and start thinking about person and personality.
Just read this, thought I'd mention that I thought I was straight for a long time, but I couldn't confidently say I was one thing or the other nowadays. I am, however, a lot more discerning in my taste in guys (for discerning, read "hard to please").
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just because girls don't find it as easy to go up to a guy and just ask them out or something, but I've been asked out by more men than women.
Just as long as I can play videogames with them, I'll settle for any gender. C:
-Z
Although I agree with EVERYTHING you've just written and have thought so for a very long time I will still continue to label myself bisexual only for the convenience of other people.
ReplyDeleteIf they want to think me a slut etc I'll let them. It doesn't affect my life.
I KNOW WHO I AM. I'm not about to let a bunch of people who don't tell me otherwise through some misguided judgement.
I do think that yes, people should just accept someone for who they are regardless of sexual appitite, but until everyone can think with the same level of intelligence I'd rather just bow to their conformism.
Like I said, I know who I am. If they dont, that's too bad for them.
Randi
xx