So, i'm starting to wonder about people who are 'jealous' around their partners. Firstly, from a completely superficial point of view it's easy to think what the hell, I don't understand why you're kicking off? But when you dig deeper it's easy to realise that there's reasons for these feelings, be it someones own insecurity (which is always a bummer for their partner) or because of how their partner is.
Now, cheating is completely different to flirting, and where as flirting may not be a nice thing to witness or hear of, it's not that bad really, is it? I'd rather hear that someone I was with was flirting with someone else at a party, than they actually thought bugger this, went the whole hog and slept with them, kinda thing. Anyway, I wouldn't call myself a jealous person at all, as I'm not. I won't go off on one for no good reason and even if I sometimes get a bit 'hmm' towards a situation, I won't go and cause a scene because most of the time it's because you think someones treading on your territory, which isn't nice but most of the time it's not justified and you're just going to make yourself look stupid when you cause a big scene in front of people, or even when it's just you two.
The problem with being laid back towards things is when you feel the need to say something or even kick off, you get called jealous and ridiculous, and you're stood there feeling stupid thinking do you know just how many people would of busted your balls about a month ago for this? Give me a fucking break. So, back to the point, there are many reasons for people's jealousy, as i've experienced anyway. The most possesive boyfriend I ever had slept with my best mate behind my back and i'm pretty sure he had a fling with a girl at his college, so his jealous, possesive nature was due to him judging me by his own actions and standards. He thought it was easy enough for him to do it, so I was more than likely doing it too. Power played a big part in that too, deciding who I spoke to and other such things, and even pettier, knowing he had the power to cheat and I didn't. Anyway, then there's the insecure reason, where they attack anyone who even comes near their partner because they're scared their partner will run off with the other person purely because they feel inadequate in comparison, which is silly.
If someone decides to be in a relationship with you, then clearly they want to be with you, right? And if they cheat then it's more fool them because they get that bad press and look stupid and you can just kick their ass to the curb faster than they can say 'Sorry, I slipped..'
Now, I would say I have my insecurities, and I've occasionally shared them with my close friend, or even a partner if they asked but I don't let them control my life, in the sense that if another female is prettier than me or slimmer, which isn't unheard of, then I won't immediately attack them and go all bitch-mode on their ass. More than likely I'll compliment them or be upfront and like 'god, you're gorgeous. bitch ¬.¬' but playfully. Unless they're conceited, then they can go suck a fuck. (Exactly how does one suck a fuck?)
However, that being said, I don't think it's appropriate for my partner to tell me how hot other people are, even if it is a beautiful nude model with a perfect body and face that majority of people find aesthetically pleasing. I understand she's beautiful, I can see that. I know she has small but firm boobs, a perfect ass and a face that oozes sex appeal, but I don't need you to tell me this at every given oppurtunity because you should at least be saying these nice things to me once in a while, if not more. I don't expect to be showered with compliments but it'd be nice to know you find me attractive too, you know? It's as if you're asking for me to be jealous and have a problem with it, like on the surface you're glad I don't have a problem, but deep down you want me to, so you push and push and push, until you have me so backed into a corner that I will actually turn around and maul the living shit out of you in a matter of seconds.
Just because I'm not naturally jealous, doesn't mean it can't happen you know? I'm only human, I get the red mist too, I feel threatened too and I'm not 100% secure with my body and appearance so it'd be nice if you perhaps boosted my ego, than that of a star you're never going to meet who's ego is probably the size of the USA by now. Anyway, a little defensive there, I realise this, but i'm pretty close to that corner, ya know?
Moving on, Jealousy is healthy, in small amounts, it's good to show you care every now and again by playfully showing that the other person is yours, or you're together. That's fine. I don't think people should let it rule them either, because it's a parasite. It feeds itself when you're not looking and then all of a sudden you're jealous and it won't go away. Honesty is always best, but when you word it right. Confrontation isn't the best way I've found, saying it in a calm and sometimes playful manner can be best, even if it seems to be something serious in your eyes, if you're completely honest you'll get an honest reply, and if not you'll be able to tell if they're lying. Bingo :)
It's good to show a bit of jealousy, like it's good to show a bit of passion and even sometimes anger when you're with someone romantically but I don't for a second believe that you should ever, ever push someone into an emotion, by winding them up or saying things that can possibly make them feel a bit less than excellent. Compliments are nice in moderation and it's nice to feel like the person you're with is attracted to you, and not some celebrity model that's a lightyear or two away from reality. I just don't see why fantasising over someone else is so important, do you not care for what's in front of you and that persons feelings?
Not to mention, they can make ANYONE beautiful these days, here's a great example.
As a sidenote, that tutorial there actually made me feel physically sick and generally horrified as it's ridiculous how many tweaks and turns people use. Are real people ever depicted in the media nowadays? But that's a rant for another day ;)
Now, cheating is completely different to flirting, and where as flirting may not be a nice thing to witness or hear of, it's not that bad really, is it? I'd rather hear that someone I was with was flirting with someone else at a party, than they actually thought bugger this, went the whole hog and slept with them, kinda thing. Anyway, I wouldn't call myself a jealous person at all, as I'm not. I won't go off on one for no good reason and even if I sometimes get a bit 'hmm' towards a situation, I won't go and cause a scene because most of the time it's because you think someones treading on your territory, which isn't nice but most of the time it's not justified and you're just going to make yourself look stupid when you cause a big scene in front of people, or even when it's just you two.
The problem with being laid back towards things is when you feel the need to say something or even kick off, you get called jealous and ridiculous, and you're stood there feeling stupid thinking do you know just how many people would of busted your balls about a month ago for this? Give me a fucking break. So, back to the point, there are many reasons for people's jealousy, as i've experienced anyway. The most possesive boyfriend I ever had slept with my best mate behind my back and i'm pretty sure he had a fling with a girl at his college, so his jealous, possesive nature was due to him judging me by his own actions and standards. He thought it was easy enough for him to do it, so I was more than likely doing it too. Power played a big part in that too, deciding who I spoke to and other such things, and even pettier, knowing he had the power to cheat and I didn't. Anyway, then there's the insecure reason, where they attack anyone who even comes near their partner because they're scared their partner will run off with the other person purely because they feel inadequate in comparison, which is silly.
If someone decides to be in a relationship with you, then clearly they want to be with you, right? And if they cheat then it's more fool them because they get that bad press and look stupid and you can just kick their ass to the curb faster than they can say 'Sorry, I slipped..'
Now, I would say I have my insecurities, and I've occasionally shared them with my close friend, or even a partner if they asked but I don't let them control my life, in the sense that if another female is prettier than me or slimmer, which isn't unheard of, then I won't immediately attack them and go all bitch-mode on their ass. More than likely I'll compliment them or be upfront and like 'god, you're gorgeous. bitch ¬.¬' but playfully. Unless they're conceited, then they can go suck a fuck. (Exactly how does one suck a fuck?)
However, that being said, I don't think it's appropriate for my partner to tell me how hot other people are, even if it is a beautiful nude model with a perfect body and face that majority of people find aesthetically pleasing. I understand she's beautiful, I can see that. I know she has small but firm boobs, a perfect ass and a face that oozes sex appeal, but I don't need you to tell me this at every given oppurtunity because you should at least be saying these nice things to me once in a while, if not more. I don't expect to be showered with compliments but it'd be nice to know you find me attractive too, you know? It's as if you're asking for me to be jealous and have a problem with it, like on the surface you're glad I don't have a problem, but deep down you want me to, so you push and push and push, until you have me so backed into a corner that I will actually turn around and maul the living shit out of you in a matter of seconds.
Just because I'm not naturally jealous, doesn't mean it can't happen you know? I'm only human, I get the red mist too, I feel threatened too and I'm not 100% secure with my body and appearance so it'd be nice if you perhaps boosted my ego, than that of a star you're never going to meet who's ego is probably the size of the USA by now. Anyway, a little defensive there, I realise this, but i'm pretty close to that corner, ya know?
Moving on, Jealousy is healthy, in small amounts, it's good to show you care every now and again by playfully showing that the other person is yours, or you're together. That's fine. I don't think people should let it rule them either, because it's a parasite. It feeds itself when you're not looking and then all of a sudden you're jealous and it won't go away. Honesty is always best, but when you word it right. Confrontation isn't the best way I've found, saying it in a calm and sometimes playful manner can be best, even if it seems to be something serious in your eyes, if you're completely honest you'll get an honest reply, and if not you'll be able to tell if they're lying. Bingo :)
It's good to show a bit of jealousy, like it's good to show a bit of passion and even sometimes anger when you're with someone romantically but I don't for a second believe that you should ever, ever push someone into an emotion, by winding them up or saying things that can possibly make them feel a bit less than excellent. Compliments are nice in moderation and it's nice to feel like the person you're with is attracted to you, and not some celebrity model that's a lightyear or two away from reality. I just don't see why fantasising over someone else is so important, do you not care for what's in front of you and that persons feelings?
Not to mention, they can make ANYONE beautiful these days, here's a great example.
As a sidenote, that tutorial there actually made me feel physically sick and generally horrified as it's ridiculous how many tweaks and turns people use. Are real people ever depicted in the media nowadays? But that's a rant for another day ;)
No, real people are not depicted in the media at all now. I remember sending you that video, you completely freaked out on me.
ReplyDeleteWhile I think it's cool that we are able to use this sort of technology, I do not think it's cool to start using it to warp peoples minds. I think magazines should come with labels on the pictures that tell us that model is 'tweaked'.
Either that or people need to start being educated on what reality is.
I believe it's normal to feel insecure when seeing a beautiful woman in a mag..but most normal intelligent people should be able to realise that a lot of work has gone into making the most beautiful of women all the more stunning.
Unfortunately, society isn't as intelligent as once it was.
I say cleanse the genepool!!! JOKE!!
As for your jealousy...I think it's normal. When you start dictating who he can/cannot see, it's a problem. I say if someone's jealousy is that out of order they need to end the relationship. If you think someone would cheat without the reins what's the point in fastening the buckles? You're just bottling up an eruption.
I remember it too.
ReplyDeleteI watched it again, freaked out again and again felt a bit sick about it. It's horrific, and I don't mean any of the outcomes.
I also think its ridiculous how Celebs who have nice figures like Kate Hudson get their perfectly fine thighs reduced in magazines, and it makes me wonder what the fuck they'd do to me?!
Yeah, it's not that i'm jealous of girls in magazines because obviously I realise they are edited TO FUCK, and the few beautiful people who are out there still get tweaked. Even with a warning I think it's ridiculous.
Like mascara adverts, filmed with lash inserts, WHY? That's not the mascara then, its the fake inserts. Dick ¬.¬
I just tend to dislike feeling like i'll never be attractive enough for someone, but like i said I won't let it control me. It's stupid, and damn right. If someones going to cheat, and you think this, walk away. haha :]
also, love you randiiiiiiii :D <3