Again, i've been doing my typical observing and pondering on things. Mainly relationships that are based on completely superficial or material things.
I could never be with someone purely for the way they look or because they buy me things or spend a lot of money to show me how they care, because in my opinion that's not an accurate way of showing your affection. Yes, it is nice to get flowers or a teddy off someone you care for, it's kind of like a memento of them, constant reminder, which can be a good or bad thing, but it's also nice because everytime you look at it you will think of them. Obviously this isn't excellent if you have a bad breakup with someone or whatever, but i'm talking when you're with someone at the moment.
I personally think it's better to show your affection by getting to know someone and doing something thoughtful and special to them, like making them a birthday card with a pikachu on it (which a very good friend of mine did for me, thankyouuuu) because you know they like pokemon, or making them a compilation CD of their favourite songs, just... things that require some thought and care into them, and of course you need to know someone more than their hair colour and bra size.
Anyway, I was in a situation a while ago when someone who I went out with in high school met up with me out of the blue and told me he had strong feelings for me and that he would kick himself if we didn't try again. So, we spent time together, kissed and were coupley and generally were together... then I found out he had a girlfriend. From his friend. I blew up at him and refused to do anything with him, he kept telling me he'd leave her and break up with her, I basically ended up telling him to stay out of my life, for a long time. Anyway, one of his friends said something to me which I did not like at all.
"You really think he's going to leave her for you? Yeah, he has strong feelings for you but she cooks for him and buys him anything he wants out of the blue, she pays for everything for him, he's got it too good to walk away from it".
Now THAT hurt.. A lot. The fact that someone would pick materialistic reasons over their actual feelings was a concept I could not understand at all, I just didn't get it. And I was reminded of this recently, as I understand that some people like to shower their beloved with gifts and I know some girls love this, but all the time, with that being the only reason you're with them? I don't think you're right in the head personally. I had another reminder recently as I asked someone if their friend would ever leave their girlfriend or argue with her, and he replied "why would he? he's got it too good. She's rich."
Now I understand again financial security is a nice thing to have and it's good to be able to get buy and have a bit of money to play with but again, the sole reason for being with someone is money? It must be a very lonely life for some people. I would never be with someone for their money, not even if I did like them as well. That is NOT a factor that determines whether or not I like someone, I base my feelings on whether we connect, are compatible, have a similar sense of humour, enjoy similar things and most of all enjoy each others company. At the end of it all, when money runs out, and when peoples good looks fade, there's going to be nothing holding you together, you'll just be sat there staring at a person you don't know wondering what the hell you've wasted your life doing with this person. By that point it'll be too late to change it as well, comfort zone will have kicked in and you won't want to be lonely even though that's the life you'd be choosing if you pick superficial, material relationships.
I don't think every relationship needs to be serious and have more meaning than a shakespearian sonnet, but I think it's important to like someone for them not what car they drive, or what brands of clothing they wear.
"A kiss on the hand can be quite continental, but Diamonds are a girls best friend..."
I understand that material things last longer than some relationships and I suppose some people who are predators and out for what they can get do well for themselves, you can't say a gold digger doesn't have a luscious lifestyle when she hooks up to an old dude, but is it really worth it to be shacked up to Granpa Goldbags when you could be in the arms of someone who you love and who loves you for you? I'd pick love over money anyday, and I'm not even a keen believer or pursuer of love, so that's saying something really isn't it?
I do get jealous when I see a happy couple, i'm not going to lie, I wish I could be as content with another person as they are, and regardless of the cracks that can be in some peoples relationships, they are there, snuggling up and kissing one another as if they don't have a care in the world, and those are the moments money can't buy. Like the moment when you've expressed how you feel towards someone and you're lay there in their arms, feeling completely whole like nothing in the world can bring you down. These are the moments that you'll remember when the cash flow grows low and the gold loses its once so appealing shine.
Now, aside from gold diggers and the people who marry into money for whatever reasons they claim to have, i've been seeing it a lot amongst people my age and younger. Why the hell do you want to spend your 'carefree' years pursuing 'love' for a material cause? I think you need your head testing. You shouldn't be worrying about someones credit rating and bank account at 18 years of age, you should be worrying about whether you like them and wish to spend time with them.
I can't say I don't appreciate a little something now and again, and I like to give gifts, like with my recent ex-boyfriend (we recently ended) we had a fight and I bought him the aftershave he wears because I knew he'd ran out, wanted to apologise and like the smell of it :) He bought me a teddy for my birthday and I like it a lot, I still cuddle it even though we're not together and will continue to do so as I like the gesture. That being said, I don't expect to go out to the cinema and have everything paid for. Me and my ex actually had a fight as to who would pay last time we went, it was quite comical, but it was because we both wanted to pay. There's also an idea called HALFING the bill. I'd like to pay now and again, and they can, or we half it, it's called give and take. I couldn't be with someone who'd pay for everything and buy me things all the time as I don't believe that's right and I'd feel like I constantly owed them something, even if they didn't make me feel that way. I naturally give more than I take, which can sometimes lead users to me, but at the same time i'm not stupid and i'm not going to be taken for a fool by someone who wants to be dating money.
Just a few things to think about, Money can't buy you love (Thankyou, The Beatles) and you can't have amazing sex with money, yes, you can buy a whore, but it's not going to be fuelled with the passion and desire that comes from real feelings like lust and love.
I think the pursuit of materialistic relations is a slippery slope and you'll be left high and dry one day with nothing to show for it except a rusty peice of jewellry or a handful of cinema stubs that you didn't pay for.
Wake up and look at the bigger picture - it's actually much prettier than you might first think :)
I could never be with someone purely for the way they look or because they buy me things or spend a lot of money to show me how they care, because in my opinion that's not an accurate way of showing your affection. Yes, it is nice to get flowers or a teddy off someone you care for, it's kind of like a memento of them, constant reminder, which can be a good or bad thing, but it's also nice because everytime you look at it you will think of them. Obviously this isn't excellent if you have a bad breakup with someone or whatever, but i'm talking when you're with someone at the moment.
I personally think it's better to show your affection by getting to know someone and doing something thoughtful and special to them, like making them a birthday card with a pikachu on it (which a very good friend of mine did for me, thankyouuuu) because you know they like pokemon, or making them a compilation CD of their favourite songs, just... things that require some thought and care into them, and of course you need to know someone more than their hair colour and bra size.
Anyway, I was in a situation a while ago when someone who I went out with in high school met up with me out of the blue and told me he had strong feelings for me and that he would kick himself if we didn't try again. So, we spent time together, kissed and were coupley and generally were together... then I found out he had a girlfriend. From his friend. I blew up at him and refused to do anything with him, he kept telling me he'd leave her and break up with her, I basically ended up telling him to stay out of my life, for a long time. Anyway, one of his friends said something to me which I did not like at all.
"You really think he's going to leave her for you? Yeah, he has strong feelings for you but she cooks for him and buys him anything he wants out of the blue, she pays for everything for him, he's got it too good to walk away from it".
Now THAT hurt.. A lot. The fact that someone would pick materialistic reasons over their actual feelings was a concept I could not understand at all, I just didn't get it. And I was reminded of this recently, as I understand that some people like to shower their beloved with gifts and I know some girls love this, but all the time, with that being the only reason you're with them? I don't think you're right in the head personally. I had another reminder recently as I asked someone if their friend would ever leave their girlfriend or argue with her, and he replied "why would he? he's got it too good. She's rich."
Now I understand again financial security is a nice thing to have and it's good to be able to get buy and have a bit of money to play with but again, the sole reason for being with someone is money? It must be a very lonely life for some people. I would never be with someone for their money, not even if I did like them as well. That is NOT a factor that determines whether or not I like someone, I base my feelings on whether we connect, are compatible, have a similar sense of humour, enjoy similar things and most of all enjoy each others company. At the end of it all, when money runs out, and when peoples good looks fade, there's going to be nothing holding you together, you'll just be sat there staring at a person you don't know wondering what the hell you've wasted your life doing with this person. By that point it'll be too late to change it as well, comfort zone will have kicked in and you won't want to be lonely even though that's the life you'd be choosing if you pick superficial, material relationships.
I don't think every relationship needs to be serious and have more meaning than a shakespearian sonnet, but I think it's important to like someone for them not what car they drive, or what brands of clothing they wear.
"A kiss on the hand can be quite continental, but Diamonds are a girls best friend..."
I understand that material things last longer than some relationships and I suppose some people who are predators and out for what they can get do well for themselves, you can't say a gold digger doesn't have a luscious lifestyle when she hooks up to an old dude, but is it really worth it to be shacked up to Granpa Goldbags when you could be in the arms of someone who you love and who loves you for you? I'd pick love over money anyday, and I'm not even a keen believer or pursuer of love, so that's saying something really isn't it?
I do get jealous when I see a happy couple, i'm not going to lie, I wish I could be as content with another person as they are, and regardless of the cracks that can be in some peoples relationships, they are there, snuggling up and kissing one another as if they don't have a care in the world, and those are the moments money can't buy. Like the moment when you've expressed how you feel towards someone and you're lay there in their arms, feeling completely whole like nothing in the world can bring you down. These are the moments that you'll remember when the cash flow grows low and the gold loses its once so appealing shine.
Now, aside from gold diggers and the people who marry into money for whatever reasons they claim to have, i've been seeing it a lot amongst people my age and younger. Why the hell do you want to spend your 'carefree' years pursuing 'love' for a material cause? I think you need your head testing. You shouldn't be worrying about someones credit rating and bank account at 18 years of age, you should be worrying about whether you like them and wish to spend time with them.
I can't say I don't appreciate a little something now and again, and I like to give gifts, like with my recent ex-boyfriend (we recently ended) we had a fight and I bought him the aftershave he wears because I knew he'd ran out, wanted to apologise and like the smell of it :) He bought me a teddy for my birthday and I like it a lot, I still cuddle it even though we're not together and will continue to do so as I like the gesture. That being said, I don't expect to go out to the cinema and have everything paid for. Me and my ex actually had a fight as to who would pay last time we went, it was quite comical, but it was because we both wanted to pay. There's also an idea called HALFING the bill. I'd like to pay now and again, and they can, or we half it, it's called give and take. I couldn't be with someone who'd pay for everything and buy me things all the time as I don't believe that's right and I'd feel like I constantly owed them something, even if they didn't make me feel that way. I naturally give more than I take, which can sometimes lead users to me, but at the same time i'm not stupid and i'm not going to be taken for a fool by someone who wants to be dating money.
Just a few things to think about, Money can't buy you love (Thankyou, The Beatles) and you can't have amazing sex with money, yes, you can buy a whore, but it's not going to be fuelled with the passion and desire that comes from real feelings like lust and love.
I think the pursuit of materialistic relations is a slippery slope and you'll be left high and dry one day with nothing to show for it except a rusty peice of jewellry or a handful of cinema stubs that you didn't pay for.
Wake up and look at the bigger picture - it's actually much prettier than you might first think :)
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